The Travel Bible

Doctrine for the perpetually departing

THE TRAVEL
BIBLE

Commandments, books, and verses for people who move —
compiled from too many airports and exactly enough mistakes.

Begin at the Commandments
The First Book

The Ten Commandments

  1. I. Thou shalt not check a bag for any trip under a week.
  2. II. Thou shalt board with a full battery and an empty bladder.
  3. III. Book the first flight out — the earliest departure sinneth least, for delays multiply all day long.
  4. IV. Photograph thy passport, and keep a copy where the cloud may find it.
  5. V. Thou shalt walk a new city before thou ridest through it.
  6. VI. Covet not another's itinerary; three true things a day is plenty.
  7. VII. Carry cash small enough to tip with, and thou shalt be remembered kindly.
  8. VIII. The airport is no place for decisions; decide everything the night before.
  9. IX. Jet lag is managed in daylight, not in bed.
  10. X. Eat like a local once a day, and like thyself the rest.
The Book of

Packing

1 One bag. Not one bag and a tote and a duffel of maybes — one bag, and the discipline follows the luggage, not the other way around.

2 Roll the soft things, cube the categories, and wear the heaviest shoes onto the plane. The bag rewards order the way a kitchen does.

3 Pack a capsule, not a wardrobe: everything goes with everything, in three colors at most. Nobody at your destination knows you wore it yesterday.

4 The forgotten charger is the tax on haste. Keep a second set of cables that lives in the bag and never comes out.

5 Leave room. The suitcase that departs full returns angry.

The Book of

Jet Lag

1 Thy body clock obeys light above all things. Morning sun at the destination is worth more than any pill in thy bag.

2 Flying east, go to bed earlier for three nights before; flying west, stay up late and be smug about it. East is the hard direction — respect it.

3 On the plane, set thy watch to the destination the moment thou sittest down, and live by it — sleep by it, wake by it.

4 Many travelers swear by fasting through the flight and breaking it at local breakfast — the stomach is a second clock, and it can be set. (The keto traveler already knows this trick.)

5 If thou must nap, twenty minutes with an alarm. The ninety-minute "nap" is how a day dies.

The Book of

The Keto Traveler

1 The airport wishes to feed thee pretzels. Thou art not obliged. Nuts, cheese, and jerky are sold behind every gate in the land.

2 The hotel breakfast is thy stronghold: eggs, bacon, smoked salmon, avocado. Walk past the waffle machine as one walks past a stranger.

3 At the client dinner, order like a person, not a patient: steak, fish, vegetables, butter on things. Nobody has ever noticed a missing bread basket.

4 Fasting through a travel day is the quiet superpower — no tray-table sadness, no gas-station roulette, and thou arrivest lighter in every sense.

5 And in the hotel room in the morning: squats, push-ups, lunges, plank — three rounds, no equipment, no excuses. Time it at thetrain.ing.

Executives who live this book by profession: the deeper practice is taught at 12X.Fit.

Coming soon

The Sunday Dispatch

One short email of travel doctrine, most Sundays. The scriptorium is still being built — check back.